He Is Real

The past few months have been trying for me [and my honey]. In June, the boys started school. This meant that my hours were sliced in more than just half. They went from 45 to 20. While I knew this was coming, I had no luck finding another job.

With no other choice, my sweet, amazingly wonderful boyfriend said that he would take care of me for the two months that the kiddos were in their summer program for, and I would find a job by then. Well, those two months have come and gone.

August rolled around, I had been on a few interviews, and unfortunately the cards were never dealt in my favor. Luckily, I had four weeks that the boys were out of school, and was able to bump back up to full time.

-Week one, I needed to have surgery

-Week two, I had a blow out and had to buy new tires [goodbye $400 for TWO tires]

-Week three, playing catch up from the previous 2.5 months

-Week four, still playing catch up and our Labor Day trip [$$$]

Other miscellaneous issues included having my wound reopen and having to drive back and fourth over an hour to the hospital where I had surgery, registrations and inspections went out on both vehicles, and a plethora of other expensive curve balls that life throws at us all. Raymond was out of work last week with a toothache, rent is due this week, and I just dropped almost $100 at the Vet.

There I sat, upset, sad, confused, angry and asking why? Why can't I find a job? Why can't we finally just be comfortable? When will the struggle stop? After many days and nights of silent prayers, an entire day filled with back-to-back annoyances and issues for Raymond, I lost it.

Right now I'm feeling like things can't get worse. Now, I know they always could, but everything is so overwhelming right now. I'm ready for things to get back to normal and to finally stop struggling.

These are the times that I really am thankful that I decided to explore my faith and see what was out there. Nothing can overcome His power. He has a plan. He is good. He is real.

John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

Crash

Every night on my drive home from work, before I get onto the highway (35 for you locals) I take a peek and see what traffic is like. Being that I typically work until 6:30, it isn't too bad. Unfortunately last night... it was bumper to bumper for as far as the eye could see. My first thought? "Dang it, there is a wreck and it's going to cause me to sit here all evening when I could be home with my lovies."

Turns out I was right. There was a wreck... on the OPPOSITE side of the highway. So why was the North bound side of the highway at a stand still? The answer: Because the wreck was so bad that the fire department had to use both sides of the highway to get to the injured people. As I drove past the wreck I couldn't help but see at least 6 cars that were involved crushed to pieces. Some just had the bumper pushed in, others were missing the entire back half.

I saw a man just sitting in the driver's seat with his head back, waiting for the whole thing to end. Another woman whose brand-spankin' new car had done a complete 90 degree turn into the concrete wall dividing the North and South lanes sitting in her seat talking to an officer balling her eyes out. Another woman behind her, laying on a stretcher with her neck stabilized. And then at least 3 more cars behind them... all involved.

My heart immediately sank and I felt tears well up in my eyes. Right then I said a prayer and asked God that he take care of every single person involved. The next thought I had was that I was the biggest B alive. How could I complain about getting home later than usual while these people aren't getting to go home now at all. So there I sat comfortably in my car, thanking Him that I was on my way home to my loved ones while these people were being hauled off to the hospital.

I quickly then reminded myself that driving is a privilege that we all take for granted and think we are the best at. I don't care who you are, how well you think you can drive, one small mistake and you could be crushed to pieces. I will be the first to admit that when I find out there is a wreck up ahead I curse the thought of it.

In February of 2011, I got in a wreck (my first and only). I was going 70 mph on the same highway and while I had enough time to slow down enough to where I didn't get hurt, I was still going fast enough for my car to be considered totalled and the air bags to deploy. If you have never been in a wreck, know that it is one of the scariest things to have to deal with. I was balling my eyes out and was so shaken up I wasn't sleeping well for a week. Thoughts of it just kept running through my head and kept me tossing and turning wondering "what if I would have been paying better attention?"

The whole point of this post is to just remind us all that car accidents are called accidents for a reason. Nobody wants to get in one, nobody means to get in one, and nobody wants to be stuck behind one. Just remember the next time you're waiting in traffic due to one, say a little prayer for the people involved rather than curse them. I know that's what I'll be doing.