Monday, September 10, 2012

Milo, Finn & My Achey Breaky Heart

My heart is absolutely about to burst into a million pieces.

With the start of a new job quickly approaching, I can't keep my mind from thinking about not seeing my boys every day. For the past almost three years I have had the pleasure of seeing their sweet faces. Sure, there are times when I absolutely want to rip out my [enter f-bomb] hair, and times that I have actually been brought to tears of frustration while they run wild around the house, but I cannot imagine my life with out them.

The other evening as I was putting them to bed, Finny grabbed my neck, hugged me, looked me dead in the eyes, and said "I love you Sam-Sam". My heart melted into a puddle of sticky goo and I balled my eyes out while squeezing and kissing the crap out of this once-tiny human. I never wanted to let him go.

There are days I thought would never end, moments I thought I just might lose it. Questions and doubts as to what the proper way to raise these boys was. I've poured my heart out to Raymond about how fantastic [and sometimes awful] they can be. I cannot begin to count the times I have texted Raymond the words "" due to some of meltdowns I have put up with. But the moment I lay my head down to sleep at night, a warm feeling comes over my body, thoughts of them fill my head, and my heart feels like it just might implode with love.

I have been so blessed to be able to create a bond with my cousins that I never would have been able to do without helping raise them on a daily basis. I pray that they have learned, grown, prospered, and will always hold me dear in their hearts. Obviously, they will never fade from mine.


Ruthie Hart said...

such sweet little crazy boys! I know it will be tough not watching them but luckily, you still get to see them!! what is the new job lady!?

Samantha said...

I will either be in a chiropractic office or will be going back to school... haven't officially made up my mind!

ejayonlife said...

Quit it out Girl! Pepa's old heart can't handle it :-)

Jess @ Blonde Meets World said...

I can't get over how adorable they are! What a sweet post :) Good luck at your new job!